think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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