when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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