I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My vagina just recognized that song.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
