I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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