You just made me feel so damn special
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
