I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had sex on a roof
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
