He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize