I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
