I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
