He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
