it wasn't lemon gatorade
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
