saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just gargled with NyQuil
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize