Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
