3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
