She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
