if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize