Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's just like the Real World with babies
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
