do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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