have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
