i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
