Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
