Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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