idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
