Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
