I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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