Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize