With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
