I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
