Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
