Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
