when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
