oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i love accidental penises.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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