At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
