what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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