Ambien. No doubt about it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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