girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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