thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
