i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If I die, sorry about rent.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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