I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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