I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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