yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
