What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Are we still banned from the library?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
