some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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