You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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