Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
