Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish i was in the wii world.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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