dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
