i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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