I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
