so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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