but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
do herpes really smell.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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