I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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