Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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