I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
