I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to stop coming to work sober
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
