i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
two words: eviction party
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize